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2008-03-01, 9:01 p.m.

Heyhey.

Was listening to the song [Friends forever - graduation] and suddenly got inspired to post today.

Cheok & I were talking yesterday night about lotsa people. If I didn't remember wrongly.. =x remembered Elisa only cus she's one of the friends I really treasure, reason being she didn't mind the fact that I had once deceived her. This may be nothing to anyone else, but it's everything to me.

The friends I'd like to remember for life are: Sherms, Ner, Juan, Girl, Elisa, Cheok. Sherylynn.. I don't think so.. at least, not yet.

These lines were in the song just now:
Will the past be a shadow that will follow us round?
Will these memories fade when I leave this town?

So if we get the big jobs and we make the big money,
Will we look back now,
Will the jokes still be funny?

Really hate saying goodbye sometimes.. I alr told my mum I'd emigrate when I grow up.. but I'd hate to leave my friends here.. true, technology is very advanced nowadays, and I'm sure it'll be even more advanced 4 years from now, it's still different from meeting them and catching up. I wonder how different all of us will be when we grow up. Is Ners still going to remain as childish? Or will she grow up in the blink of an eye? Will Sherms stay as a reliable pal, or will she go astray in future? Is Juan going to be straight, and / or stay as a wonderful friend? Is Cheok still gonna be a great buddy to me, or are we going to stop coming in contact in future? Will Elisa be able to handle her own problems and emotions when she starts to mature, or will she still need someone to lead her? Questions like these are flooding in my mind, making me unable to concentrate on physics. But I thought I'd to list it out, for reference in future, to see what I posted when I was a 14 year old kid.

Cheok told me Elisa didn't want to tell me her problems for fear that I'd worry about her. If she doesn't want me to know, then just tell me straight in the face. Why appear nonchalent about it and keep everything to yourself? I don't care if you're gonna make me worried, but I don't want you to keep everything to yourself and be even more unhappy. Because it's so obvious when you're upset, I get even more worried when you act as if you're not and keep everything to yourself. More importantly, if you can't even tell me something like this if you're afraid that I'll worry, then I see no point in us being friends. Unless you're telling me you don't even want to be buddies, then I get the message. Otherwise, I'd hate you for doing that. You're just making me feel helpless cus I can't do anything when you're not in a great mood.
I will hate you, for real.

As for Ner, I'm really sorry to say that I haven't been a great friend at all to you. I will try and change, but I hope our friendship doesn't change.

Sherms, my brilliant friend who grew up with me since Day 1 of Primary school, I'm really very glad to say that our friendship has gotten even better over the 7 years we've spent together, this year being the 8th. She, who has always been there for me if I wanted her to, is someone I can claim as my best friend. Thanks for always being there for me, Sherms. I really appreciate it. [: hope our friendship never changes.

Juan, someone I got to know in Primary 3 but didn't get to know her well, is in the same class as me this year, & I'm pleased to say that we're relatively great friends now. She's comfortable to be with, and you can tell her almost everything without being afraid that she'll spill. Feeling emo / down? Look for Juan, a wonderful pal, you feel like you can't ask for more.

Girl, I'm also very apologetic towards you as well cus you always seem to make me cross, resulting in me being mean to you. I'm downright sorry, and I'm not afraid to say it. Wonder if you'll see this, but I guess you don't need to know that I'm really very sorry towards you. You've been a great friend, one whom I can tell things to. [: you cheer me up considerably when I need someone to talk to. Thanks for being such a great friend. I guess I must thank Maria Sng as well, for putting me next to you last year. It was a great start to our friendship. Hope it never ends, even if it was a great ending.

As for Cheok, I have nothing to say, cus everything she says, she does it. "Actions speak louder as words" as the proverb goes, and I'm very glad she does it. We can talk anytime and anywhere, whatever weather and whatever day it is. Also someone I got to know in Primary 3 but didn't know her that well, very thankful that she appeared in my life, at this point in time.

Elisa.. I'm pretty speechless. She makes me feel that I'm inferior to Jiaen. I know it's a stupid thought, but it's still bugging me, since last year till now. Ashley seems to be able to do everything perfectly, so perfectly it seems that Elisa doesn't need a second buddy to be there for her. At least, that's what she's conveying to me.
I'm so afraid that there'll be a day where I'll hate her. ]: can't foresee that day, but I hope it never comes.

I was wondering if I prayed hard enough to God who created Day and Night, would he make it such that there was only Day and no Night, so that I'll never go home, and stay with my friends all day long. I hate the feeling of going home; it makes me wish that I was never born into this world.

I think this is a long enough post, so I'll save the rest for another day. Sorry to those who're reading this. =/

Nights.

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