2010-07-24, 12:51 a.m.

Reading about SJ stuff never fail to get me teared up. Read a letter from Kyuhyun to Hankyung and I cried like crap ><

Anw I wasn't supposed to come on to read about them. Yihui that's one hour gone. Good job. But actually I was looking for the note that Sapph was talking about to help motivate me a little.

Been feeling quite suffocated recently. I think God hates me. Mom pissed me off today by asking me to go collect something from ASA on Sunday for ONLY an hour. Said no dimsum this weekends cus Sapph can't eat. C'mon, it's not like you guys never went without me before. Why can't we go without Sapph. Sometimes, I just don't know how far your bias can go. Sometimes, I don't know how much you love me.

I wasted my entire day today. Okay not exactly wasted but. Spent my afternoon talking to Girl and Cheok. Spent my dinner with Dad. Spent my night talking with Rachel. That's the whole day gone isn't it. Dawn Lim said something to me that made me wanna work hard for Bio. Yeah, I'm so doing it.

I'm gonna check out more SJ stuff. Hopefully I'll find my motivation there. 90 over more days. Yihui, you can do it. Overcome the feeling of suffocation.

I only realised today why people like to cry in showers. Or rain, I suppose. Cus it's the only time you can tell yourself that the wet streaks on your face isn't coming from your eyes but the sky or the showerhead.

Self-denial, yeah.

Kkay, go hunt the note. & be motivated.

Yihui <3

P.S. I just absolutely love that thing I posted just now. It's from fb. From something Sapph liked. & I thought some of it were really true. Awesome <3

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