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2011-08-09, 1:29 a.m.

I am extremely tired after crying again today. I was so tired, I actually just lay on the floor and slept. First time in history.

Okay so anyway. I learnt so much today. With regard to my character and flaws. So horrible. Bok Chong taught me a lot of things today. One of which was to watch what I say and under what circumstances I say it in. I probably won't forget today's lesson. I was really, very affected.

Which, although I am very grateful to him for, I am inclined to congratulate him at the same time. He is the first person, ever, to make me feel so awful and pathetic. I really take my hat off to him; Even Sapph hadn't managed that feat previously. I will remember him for life just for this alone. I admit my mistake but it doesn't make you guilt free. I reckon girlgirl was right about him. That he was also just trying to conveniently push whatever blame he could to me. Cus I was so convinced that it was my fault and my fault entirely that what happened today happened. At times like these, she never fails to make me feel better about myself. She told me it wasn't entirely my fault and that he was to blame too. She said I had to stop being so hard on myself. But am I? I feel as though I'm so lax with myself. Sigh.

It may have been a crappy ending to what initially seemed to be a great day but I don't regret it. I will take the lesson with me from this point onward and make it a point to think more before speaking now. No point dwelling on it. If it wasn't for girlgirl, I'd probably still be wallowing in despair.

I shall sleep it off.

Nights world, once again I hope you had a better day than me.

Yihui

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