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2007-04-25, 6:49 p.m.

Oh man.. School totally sucked today. My back hurt so much. ><

But school was also great. Cus i got to know my friends better! :D What exactly do i mean by that?

I learnt that I'm the only one that Elisa confides in. She told me her secret which she has never told anyone else. Maybe not yet, but let's take it one step at a time.

I also learnt that Ashley matters a whole lot to Elisa. I kind of realised that they have a lot of affinity, the topics to talk about and etc. I also thought I knew at the beginning that they would be very good friends, but nearing May, the 2nd month of our 2nd term, I realised that I was wrong. The both of them were not gonna become very good friends, they would become the best of friends. I don't know to say if I should be happy for them or not, but I personally feel neglected. As I mentioned in one of the earlier entries, Elisa meant a lot to me. If I were to put it bluntly, she would matter more than Cheok Yi, my good friend for the past 4 years.
I don't really understand how it works, but I think it's the work of the upper levels. I really don't know what to do now. Both are my very good friends. What should I do?

Be the saint, and let Ashley get Elisa?
Or shall I be the devil, and try to get Elisa back for my own sake?

OH COME ON MAN, GET REAL HERE.

What thoughts are you harbouring? I'm so confused I don't even know what I'm talking about. In fact, I feel very happy. Because for once in my life, I realise that I am not unwanted.

Everytime at my own home, with my sister around, she gets all the attention. The same goes for school. Everyone prefers Ashley because they've got more topics to talk about. And everyone thinks I'm lame because I'm cracking stupid jokes and commenting lame stuff. But it's just some times I get so excited that they're talking to me, I completely lose myself. I try to get them impressed, but I end up getting myself embarrassed.

I learnt that I'm very straight with my words, which sometimes isn't a good thing. I think Sng Ying takes it seriously when I say she's retarded. I don't know how to tell her I'm not implying that, but i simply don't know how to put it. After all, if I were to do that, I wouldn't be their YiHui anymore. -.-

I find that everyone around me is changing. All maybe except one - Magdalene. Sometimes I wonder how God can be so cruel to her. Even when she's a christian and she's loyal to God, God bestows her with a dense mind. It triggers me to think how different people can be all around the world. Magdalene is so thick, I don't understand how she'll survive in the future. But you never know, people do change. For all you know, she might be a CEO in future! Though I doubt that, I've already told myself not to pass comments to certain things I feel that i should abstain from and to look at things from other people's points of view. Also not forgetting to look at things with a clean mind, pure soul. Basically, don't be prejudiced when judging, if not you could make a seriosu error.

I wonder if my friends will realise that I'm changing, but even I myself feel that I'm not changing at all. Maybe it takes time, but I'm confident I'll succeed. Because when there's a will, there's a way.

:D!

OKAYE ENOUGH OF ACTING CHEEM. HAHA. AND ACTING EMO. My back hurts like shit la. Spent 200+ on x-ray and specialist. Cus of that, my mum made us cancel our skiing trip. Seriously, I feel like cursing her right now. But again remembering that it's my mother, I can't bring myself to do it.

Always look at things from another angles and you'll find out more.
Consider what is both sides mentaility before passing a commment or making a judgement.

For instance, your birthday is today. Are you supposed to feel happy?
Well, normally the answer would be "Like duh. Isn't it obvious?" But you can also argue saying, "Why should you be so happy? It's the day when your mother suffered the most!"

Therefore there are always two sides to a matter; just like how there will always be two sides to a coin.

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