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2007-04-10, 6:59 p.m.

today was a same day. as bored, as exciting, as fun, as stupid, as bimbotic, eh wrong. day can't look chio. kay oops. uh. as sleepy with history/geog/c-lit, what can you expect. gosh. anyways, not really stressed out. dunno why. i'm not feeling the stress at all. somehow my frens are. and i'm not. so i dun really know why. and you know what? I'M ALL ALONE AT HOME. =D well kay not really. there's my maid. alone like - parents gone, sis at malaysia. yeah alone! mann being alone rocks la. listening to graduation. just addicted to it now. yeah now it's an old song, but yeah. somehow it's more soothing than usual. have no idea why though.

i've no idea what i'm gonna do now, so i took out some maths stuff, obviously gonna do it. i'm going for maths olympiad! at first when i got the form, i was happy. you know why? i put it here cus i know if i say this out, everyone's gonna laugh at me. cus the first thing that came to my mind was, "what will my dad think man. i got picked to go for maths olympiad!" since my dad went for maths olympiad once and he got a prize, so it's kinda sad that i nv got picked during primary school days. but yeah i got picked in sec 1! the first thing that came to my mind was my dad. i was wondering abt all kinds of things. his reaction, his thoughts, and most importantly his smiles. i always thought i was overshadowed by my sister. cus she did everything else better than me. she did well for psle. she did well for Os'. she handles her problems well. she has no problems in academics. she can deal with the computer. she's just like. perfect. even if she isn't. when i casually asked if my sis ever got picked for maths olympiad, he said "no your sis's maths wasn't that good." and considering my maths standard, it's a miracle i got picked for maths olympiad. but now i think that mag really detests me. cus it's like. she always thinks her maths is better than me, though i must admit i think her maths is better than mine also, but there are also times where mine's better than her of cus, and she didn't get picked. so i think she kinda thinks that YOU KNOW, i dunno how to put it. but yeah. =.= then now i'm having second thoughts. as in not wanting to back out, but like. having another thought in my mind. like, what will the questions be like? will it be soooo friggin' difficult i can't even solve a single one? but i guess it'll turn out alright. i mean, that's what always happen to me. and my dad said, "winning a prize or not is not important, the important thing is that you got picked. this is already an achievement. the next important thing is the process. you go there for the experience." so i'm kinda not so scared now. =x

then obviously there's other stuff to worry about. you know all the project work. the papers for instructions, are enough to fill my one file. there are so many project work, and the group we're in, there's just one person who nearly never do anything at all. ok fine, she does ABIT. compared to what all the other group members do, it's really abit. it's so miserable, we dun need her to do. seriously, if someone would just tell her. but she's gonna be like, "But you all also nv tell me what to do. what you want me to do." confirm one. just hope that one day she'll realise that herself. or maybe she'll be placed in a group where SHE has to do most of the work. THEN she'll realise that we're spoonfeeding her with all the info.

alright then until next time.
Huii. =D

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