2009-04-06, 9:04 p.m.

I have never felt a greater need to post than right now. I can't believe I was so angry at the point in time, I started tearing. Noone in history has ever done it before. Shirlyn & Kerrui, congrats, you did it. I was so pissed with the both of them. Freak -.-"

They took my IC while I was at Lihmaan's table, & I was wondering why they were giggling there by themselves. But whatever, I thought they were going to play a stupid prank or joke on me. Then when I went back, Shirlyn suddenly said Mok & I are couple, cus Blue & Pink. Then I was like, huh? Then Mok explained saying "Oh, your IC." WAH FUCK, I GOT DAMN PISSED. LIKE SERIOUSLY. I YELLED "WHAT?!" SUPER LOUDLY & THEN THE TEARS JUST STARTED COMING OUT OF THE CORNER OF MY EYE. THEN I WALKED IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION CUS I DIDN'T WANT THEM TO SEE ME. THEN WHEW, I STOPPED. [I THINK I'M GETTING BETTER AT IT!] Thank god, I told them I wasn't pissed anymore, but I was literally piercing myself with my nails to distract my anger from them, otherwise I'll just slap them or something. Which is why noone dares to get on my nerves. But okay, since I promised not to get angry at them, I'll keep my promise. Whatever anger I have, I'll keep it to myself, swallow it back. It's possible, I just have to keep telling myself that.

On a lighter note, it's nice to experience how annoying & irritating younger sisters can get. I never knew it, maybe that was how I always irritated Sapph, hahahhahah (: so yep, I will think on the bright side & think about how fortunate I am to have them as my younger sisters (: maybe not Shirlyn [I personally think that I treat Shirlyn as a friend] but definitely Kerrui. & I sort of promised / swore that I'd never get angry at them, so I must never show it. No matter how displeased & pissed I am.

Deyi invest was kinda fun today, but I wish I could have gone with someone I knew better. I'm not saying going with Hilly was a chore, but I'd have preferred to go with Sherms or Cheryl or Yvette ): they played some fruit basket thing which was super fun, hahahha! Just that it was difficult to run around in the idiotic heels. Gosh! -.- & then um, OH! The people there were super nice! We met Jovena there also! (: Ashley's friend, we sort-of know each other! Hahahha :D but the items were a little.. solemn.. too formal o.o ours is still the best la :D

OKAY! I feel so much better after posting. Gosh (: works wonders! :D but Lihmaan & everything's still weighing on my mind >< I'm really at a loss at what to do. & I cannot show how helpless I am in front of Denise. Definitely NOT. My helplessness can only be shown to myself. Only myself. I'm not going to involve anyone else anymore. The same goes for Zoey. I have to. Do something about it. By myself. I must, & I can. Just, I think I'm hoping for a someone nice enough to shine the light to light my path up. Then I don't think I'll get lost so easily, & not so alone.

I always thought my world consisted of many many people. But lately I realised, it doesn't. My world probably consists of : I, Me & Myself. That's it.

Okay, depressing post. Sort-of. Lol. I don't think I'm pissed with Kerrui & Shirlyn anymore. Thank god (: Kay I need to study, wish me all the best for Thursday ):

Yihui ♥♥

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