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2010-05-22, 3:27 p.m.

Congratulations to Super Junior who won Mbank yday! :) (Looking forward to their win today at Mcore! :D) Leeteuk mentioned Hankyung, Kangin and Kibum in his speech ): It was like just a 5 seconds thing but it got me tearing very badly when he said it. His speech was "First to the members who are with me now who endured hard times and also to Hankyungie, Kangin, Kibummie who's watching us on TV. I want to say we really miss you." Omg please. & "Lastly, who gave us the present of eternity and not just a moment, all the ELFs in the world I sincerely thank you and love you." Teukkie, our Fallen Angel :)

Anw this is supposed to be post on Jubilate VII. It was the bomb, baby.

We left school at 1230 yday with Sapph coming with us. She came to do makeup for us and she made me pretty pretty :) thanks to her. Well makeup took over an hour. After that we had to go and standby for rehearsal. It was 3.15 by the time we were at the curtains for standby. 3 hours passed just like that. We did our rehearsal at around 3.45. Wasn't that bad but yeah, I teared when Yanning was talking about her mistake and stuff. Had to say I yawned to cover up the tears. But yeah Miss Nat was real nice about everything and corrected us very patiently. We found solutions together and it was really cool. Sec 4s had finale rehearsal after that. It was quite dumb. Well then we went for dinner and then Moks came! YAY :D So yeah, went back to the dressing room for a vocal rehearsal. Do a run-through without proper blocking and stuff. Jubilate'd started by then, it was around 7.30. I was stunned at how quickly time past. 7 hours easily went past just like that. & before we knew it, it was time for our turn.

Intermission came and went. We were on standby as the curtains went up for CO. & yet, their performance seemed to take a shorter time than rehearsal too. It was our turn and yeah, we really gave it our all. Shu was fab, she caught the notes and was very realistic. Tricia was great too, after worrying for such a long time. We put up a great performance with much cheers and applause from the audience. Shu said it was probably her best night this year as we walked backstage. The feeling was really indescribable. Too many emotions encompassed me after the performance was over. Three months of preparation.. It paid off. We saw Ms Nat & Ms Sharon leaving too. The tears couldn't help but fall :/ it was probably the last time we'd see Ms Nat. She's been really nice and cool about everything. Extremely patient with us, which is quite a feat. I wish her all the best for her future endeavours :)

& it was the finale for Sec 4s. Moks joined us and she was really happy about it :) & then yeah, it was the end of Jubilate. We camwhored quite abit too :P Received loads of flowers! ._. I don't even know who gave me what. LOL. Must take a picture later :D

& yeah, it was the Sec 4s's last time performing. Technically it was our 'Goodbye Stage', so to speak. I'm glad it was such a good memory. & Shu had to say her speech before we went on stage. Was trying so hard to hold the tears back so that the eyeliner wouldn't smudge. Thank god Joan didn't say anything or else I'd definitely have cried very hard ><

Well despite it being a fantastic performance, it wasn't the best for me personally >< screwed up just a litle during the show. & none of my friends, the ones who are important to me ofc, not one of them msged me good luck or anything. I was so disappointed >< kept checking my phone for texts but it didn't come. I was really disappointed. Fine if they wouldn't come, but they couldn't even send a text msg to wish me good luck or something? Sigh.

& I really wished you were there, that you'd be amongst the applause that I heard. But apparently not. You too, didn't even encourage me. Was this how you felt for your comps too, baby? When I didn't sms you? >< Maybe you didn't wanna stress me.. I'm forcing myself to think this way at least, so that it wouldn't hurt so much. It's awful when people whom you think are you important think you're trash.

Additionally, I'm very glad I did this musical! :) I understand a little now, how tiring it is for our boys to rehearse for a concert. They have to mic up, test mics, keep repeating the songs etc. & costume changes are crazy! Everything is so dark backstage! But for them, since it's one level down, I think there's light. But even then IT'S CRAZY. You keep changing frantically and yeah, hahaha :D But it's fun at the same time :) unforgettable memories're created while these happen :)

Like I said, mixed feelings and emotions encompassed me after our performance. Relief, joy, excitement, dejection set in. Relief because everything was finally over, the butterflies in my stomach all flew away. Joy because we put up a wonderful show (cus everyone said so!). Excitement because the adrenaline rush hadn't died off yet. Dejection because, like I said, it was our goodbye stage. With this, I'm gonna end my post for today :)

It seemed like a few days ago when I was sitting amongst the audience, watching my yellow badge seniors perform a play on Stnicks too. But that was 2 years ago. 2 years later, on the 21st May, I was one of the actors on stage. Feels so unbelievable.

& to really end off, I wanna post what Suju posted on twitter, cyworlds etc about their feelings on 4th album / missing members :

► (because there are) everything that was there when we debuted, everything ... ? ..... everyone that paid attention to us ... ? ..... people !!!! ... our fans that recieve attentions from others ... and the existence of our dear members .. so there's (now) .. now i want to rewrite a new history .. we'll do it together right? ^^
- Eeteuk( twitter. 5th may )

► A day where I long for and miss everyone too much..
-Eeteuk (twitter. 4th may)

► Super Junior's returning with our 4th album.. .. In my eyes no matter how you look at it three places are empty right? ..We're working really hard!! Come quickly.. I miss you.. I miss..
-Eeteuk (twitter.5th may)

► Although we're separated in body [I] know we'll always be together. Even if [you] don't say I love you, [I] know that [you] do love. Even if [we] don't say we're one [I] know that we're one. 13
-Donghae (twitter.4th may)

►[Title]
Hankyung,Kangin,Kibum I love you^^
[Sidebar]
No matter what others say even if I've heard don't want to (won't) care about them .
13... & E.L.F
-Donghae(cyworld.5th may)

Eunhyukkie's really touched me <3

[Eunhyuk's cyworld entry]
This might even be something that no one cares about...or it might not be nothing...
Nevertheless at least the decision puts an end to our long agony.
We can't put all details and our true feelings in each news article.
But as expected there's a lot of talk going around.
It was all expected........
We can't just smile....but we believe it was the best choice.
And we don't ever stop....no..we can't stop.
For anyone who believe in us and waited for us...
For anyone who endured the tough times...
For anyone whose heart still hurts each time they look at this news article and pictures...
We can't stop......I'm going to engrave the word 'START' in my heart once again.

They won Mbank today and they're gonna win Mcore today. Lets hope they keep this up for the next ten weeks <3 SUPER JUNIOR HWAITING! ORI SUPER JUNI-OR!!!

Yihui <3

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