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2010-10-24, 8:15 p.m.

Why am I crying again ><

I don't like how Maan always gets me saying what I don't want to say :/ I feel like a marionette.

They say what's important is to not regret and to know that you've given it your best. But if the results that come back are saddening, doesn't it just mean that you're stupid and nothing else. Maybe that's why since young, I've been trying to tell myself "I didn't do well cus I didn't study." cus I'm afraid. That if results come back which prove my thesis right, I'll probably break down and yeah, land up in imh.

Cried, cried and cried. If only I could channel that into something productive.

I didn't know my self-esteem was this low. Maybe I've been living in self-delusion all this while. But I'm so glad I got everyone tricked. I've learnt that you make yourself unpopular when you act emo and weak. Even if you are. Cus everyone'll just find you a thorn in the flesh.

Enough of English? Think I'll mug history.

Yihui

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