2007-10-15, 12:32 a.m.

I just talked to ashley on msn.
I felt very happy, because it was one of our another conversations in ages. But at the same time, I felt dejected, cus I knew that put an end to our friendship.
She thinks I'm weird, but she doesn't understand that what I'm saying are facts. She asked me why I couldn't be as normal as before, and I didn't have a chance to tell her that it was because of her.
I was talking to elisa just a second ago. I said I wonder if ashley will tell you I'm weird, and she said she says that very often. Surprisingly, when I heard that, there was this indescribable happiness in me, because I know that she mentions me. At least just being noticed by her, makes me happy. It's just as if handing a 3-year-old kid a candy. The child would be so easy to coax. At that point in time, I felt that I was like that child. Merely being mentioned, made my night. Even with that conversation I had with her previously.
Hope elisa don't go blabbering around about what I said to her just now. Even if she does, I can't really blame her. It's all her fault. SHe always does things so absent-mindedly, even when I don't like it. But she didn't do it on purpose, which doesn't really give me a reason to yell at her or something. Sigh, hate that kinda feeling. Makes me feel as if I'm not worth of her. Haha.

Alright, it's late! But not going to sleep yet. Watching devil beside you. (: SEE YA GUYS!

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