2008-02-17, 5:19 p.m.
Okay, this'll be a pretty dull post. =/
I sort of quarrelled with Elisa yesterday night. I'm not cross or anything, I'm just feeling very stupid and idiotic to think that of myself.
You see, she was typing everything in caps while we talked, so I asked her why are you typing your words in caps, and she told me cus I'm angry. I thought.. I thought it was because she was concerned about me, but it wasn't like that. It was because of my 'ridiculous excuses'. She was angry at my ridiculous excuses, and not at me for not taking care of myself. I felt so stupid and retarded, I felt like knocking my head against the wall at that point in time, not to mention that I was really sad and hurt. I didn't feel like talking to her after that; cus she was feeling tired and I thought this'd make her feel worse and because I thought I'd tell her how I actually feel and I didn't want that. =/ I'm sure she'd think that I was stupid to think that. ):
Well, now that I actually come to think of it, how could I expect her to be worried and concerned about me. It's plain stupidity. Of course, the people she'd be worried about is Ashley, Sherylynn, Andreas, Thaddeus, her other schoolmates and church friends. Was feeling damn crap yesterday. =/ was feeling even dumber as I tried to go and sleep. The words 'ridiculous excuses' kept on buzzing in my mind; couldn't sleep well. GRR.
Moral of the story: I can't stand myself for being unable to hate her for long. =/ & I hate myself for thinking 'so highly of myself', in the sense that I actually thought that she'd be worried about me, but no, it was something else altogether. Upsetting, but it was something that I had to accept.
It's going to be 5.30 soon, I intend to mug at 6 to around 11 or so. Depends on what I'm doing. :D
Braces appointment tmr.. still don't know what colour to change to. Hahaha. (:
Okay, shall go back to reading HP later. :D daddy came out to the dining table today and asked me "Why are you reading the holy bible?" HAHA, dumb la! Like I'd read one. xD though I promised someone I'd do it.. I guess it's not the right time yet. Haha. (:
Back to watching pot, till the next time I post, toodles.
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