2008-03-16, 5:58 p.m.

I stayed home the entire day.
I noticed I eat alot when I'm at home man, shit. Lols, what if I balloon to daddy's size, like what Sapph always says. Haha :)

I rewatched the pot episodes again, just awesome. The last ep, I commented on youtube AGAIN, that I swear PoT is one of the bestest animes and I'll remember it for life. & I know I will.
I started watching PoT cus Gs gave the burned cds to Sapph as her 05' bday present. & I was still playing netball, so PoT kinda taught me more about teamwork & friendship, but more importantly I found out that when you play a match, the most essential thing to do on the court is to enjoy the game while striving to win, which is really hard to do cus you feel the stress coming from your coach when you're playing on the court. Ryuzaki does the exact opposite. "Play to your heart's content, and don't leave any regrets." that's what she loves to say. & if I do become a coach in future, I'm gonna do that as well.
Last ep of PoT still makes me cry no matter how many times I watch it.. it's that brilliant.

I'm still not really talking to Elisa yet. Was it thursday or friday, when I wasn't still in a very good mood, she said she wanted to ask me about the dance classes, & that was the last thing I wanted to tell her about. I didn't feel like talking to her, but I forced myself to tell her the details. She started it with a "Oh ya", so I thought she was going to apologise.. or something, but she continued with a "I want to ask you about the hiphop lessons." Okay, I wanted to tell her to get lost or something, but I managed to force it out of myself in the end. Kinda proud. Lols. In any case, I can't help but feel stupid, because after all I've done for the past year, I find out that I'm not needed at all. To put it simply, I've pretty much given up on her as a friend & I'm not gonna do anything for her in future until my heart wavers. Cus everything I do, she just forgets. What's the damn point. Maybe I should have let go, a long time ago. She just doesn't give a damn about whatever I do. So from now on, smses from me unless it's from the relay, & trust me, I'm not kidding when I say I've given up on her.
I rest my case. Totally.

Daddy gave me the green light for the Holland trip! Yay :) I told Denise only, but I think Sherylynn, Juan & Sherms knows cus they came to my house the other time while I was talking to Sapph. Lols. Ohwell! Can't wait to go. Will be including a countdown for every post now; School's getting boring. Because of Elisa? No idea, but I think it isn't. Ashley wasn't helping very much.. seeing the fact that she was the one that made it semi-worse. :( shits. I'M SO SCREWEDDDD.

I'm really scared.

I don't know if I'll start to hate Elisa.

But I hope not.

Come to think of it, I was only happy when she called me.
It's not as if we had fun while we talked.
& again, we only talked when she was feeling down.
Otherwise, all her other phone calls would be with Ashley.
Yeah, that helped.
I'm like her dustbin.
Where she throws all her thrash.
Ashley's her gong to share all her wonderful stuff with.
& when I'm unhappy, I can't call Elisa.
Like, okay, what the crap?
For some reason, I can't accept the fact that I call Elisa my friend when she doesn't know what I'm going through at all. It doesn't make sense.
Same for Sherylynn; I can't tell them ANYTHING. They just don't understand.

I guess my best friends are still Sherms, Juan & Girlgirl.
Ner comes second, cus I still can't tell her what's on my mind.

What a screwed life I have, cus I have to rush out Chinese now. Ugh.

Until the next time,
take care toodles. :)

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