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2008-05-20, 9:14 p.m.

Feeling damn shit right now.

School was fine. No big issues. Just that class key was with Sherylynn for the whole day, so yeah.

Went home with Cheok to watch her HYD Season 1 last ep. :) damn nice. Still haven't really gotten over it yet. :D

She went home soon, and then I was waiting for the other group of people to come- Sherms, Juan & Girl. So we had a C-t-C again. Wooh, freakin draining and makes people really hungry. We were all looking for food before an hour passed. Hahahaha :)

SO yeah. C-t-C. Super awesome. But for some reason I hate it as well, cus lots of emotions are involved. Not really the time I'd pick to reveal everything now; too risky. I don't think I'm very ready to show my tears to the public.

Anyway, stupid Ty screwed things for me. He's quitting church after the camp. Like what the fag. This is the first time, the first time in my entire life, I've felt so disappointed and disgusted. Disappointed with the fact that he chose to just run away like that, instead of finding a solution to the problem, & disgusted because he was the last person I'd thought to do such a cowardly act. It grosses me out. If you have time to think that people at church are fake and politics is what everyone's playing at, then find a fucking solution and make the church a real church. Quit yapping about what's been done and what others are playing at, don't you think you're partially responsible as well? This grosses me out, honestly.

Gokusen. Amazing. It's amazing, how I can really enter the drama.

More than HYD, I think Gokusen really educates me about life. You learn more about being buddies, moving forward in life, difference between violence & fighting etc. Gonna elaborate.

The buddies inside Gokusen, aren't anything like what we find in Stnicks. They're vulgar, they don't excel academically, but so what? None of them are ready to back out or say 'No' when one of their people is in a spot. Anytime, anywhere, EVERYONE is really eager to offer what they can do and they REALLY DO IT. It's just not like sn, where you call yourselves lifetime friends and yet, you abondon a friend when she's not really popular with others. What shit friends are that. PEOPLE CANNOT LIVE ALONE, THAT'S WHY THEY LEARN TO STICK WITH PEOPLE AND ACCOMPLISH THINGS TOGETHER, & that's what friends are for. It's not for display, it's not for show, they're there thanks to Fate, who are going to guide you through your life [or part of your life] and to do things together. All because, as long as you're a human, you cannot stay alone. That's why you need friends.

Moving forward in life. Kurosaki showed us that it can be accomplished. So what if teachers ruined your future? If you have time to make excuses and blame others, why don't you look forward and think about your future? & that's what Kurosaki did. Kumiko said "Isn't it unfair to blame others for everything? If you can't even overcome a setback like this, a little tumble and your life is over." That says everything. Even though Uchi & Shin were partly involved, in the end, Yankumi still convinced Kuro. :)

When you fight, be it physically or emotionally, you're doing it with a passion to protect something dear to you. Violence, is purely to bully the weak and making you a coward, because it's a cowardly act. Yankumi taught me that, so now I'm not gonna mix them up. I'll fight in future, but not in the name of Violence.

Yamaguchi-sensei more importantly, taught me the importance of family. Family, isn't all about blood. Grandpa elaborated that there're families like theirs, consisting of Wakamatsu, Tetsu, Minoru & one more person, but all of them aren't related at all. Yet the warmth & happiness they emit, are even thicker than a real family with blood ties. She explained this to Kawashima-sensei, who thought herself as an unqualified mother when all Yuta wanted to do was just to live with her. Changing their diapers, feeding them, staying up all night when they're ill, if that's not a mother, then what's a mother? Come to think of it, I don't think my mum really did that for me. It was just Auntie Beatrez who really seemed like my mum then. Still miss her.. wonder how she's doing <3

If a family doesn't require blood ties.. I wonder if my clique will be able to become one. A real family, where you find real happiness.

Yankumi, is a REALLLLLLLLLLY awesome teacher. If Kuro had encountered a teacher like that, he'd probably had gotten away without quitting school. If I encounter a teacher like this, I swear I'll be her best student. I don't know how to put this, but there's this urge in me, to really want to become like her. Someone who can inspire, convince, and encourage. Someone as perfect as her.

Yankumi, the most amazing teacher I've ever come across. :)

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