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2009-04-11, 11:13 p.m.

Ohmygod. My rashes. It's covering my entire body ): & it itches like crap. Omg, I have six rounds on Monday. I hope it doesn't get worseeeeeee ):

I just realised that I actually have loads to do, but I'm just in no mood to touch them at all. After precious time passes & I decide to do them, I find out that I don't have enough time & I start to regret. Many may ask, what's the point of regretting? But to me, it's alr something that I'm used to. I'm not saying that it's good & I'm trying to make an effort not to.

Was thinking about my family while I was in the shower just now. What with the upcoming trip & things that they're blessing me with in this time of financial crisis, I suddenly feel so indebted to them & felt so guilty about neglecting my work for these past two days. Isn't it amazing how children can never ever repay their parents no matter what they do & how much they do for their parents in their entire lifetime? It's as if we're destined to carry the debt for our entire lifetime, which will then be passed down, generation after generation. But even then, some kids just abandon their parents when they're old & useless. It's something I hope that I will never do & even think about.

I was thinking how much my family meant to me. Some wished that they never had one; some wished that theirs was richer; some wished that theirs would pay more attention to them etcetc. The list goes on & on, it never ends. Because humans are greedy, by nature. But I, for one, realised that there's not much I need in my life actually. If I actually sum up what my life revolves around, it's simply : My irreplaceable family, my priceless friends, my important possessions and my academics. Which is not much, including my possessions.

Well, quoting Sapph [which is how I feel] : "My parents, for being who they are, no words can credit them adequately. My sister, no matter how much we annoy or say we annoy each other, we both know how important we are to each other, well at least i hope she knows too. =P" Thankyou, Daddy & Mummy (: & many thanks, Jie :D

My friends, for who they are & how they respect me, I thank you guys from the bottom of my heart (: just in case I leave some VIPs out, I'm not stating any names, but you guys know who you are, yep? (:

My academics.. Well, not to say that I've achieved much, but I wouldn't say that I'm very disappointed with my results so far. Nonetheless, there'll always and forever be room for improvement, so let's all work towards that improvement (: it's possible! :D

My possessions, lol, what else can I say? Blessed by the gods / deities / higher beings above, I have a wonderful pair of parents who're willing to give me anything I want as long as it's not unreasonable & totally unnecessary (: which is good, so that I'm not spoilt (: as a matter of fact, I actually think that my parents are the best in the world (: & I can't be any prouder of them. It's probably what every kid thinks, but I do know of some that don't & it's kinda sad cus family are supposed to be the greatest source of strength & warmth for one. But, ohwell :/

Listened to a very inspiring cabby just now. Isn't it ironic how the well, not say not-that-well-to-do, but let's say the more.. economical jobs? [-.-"] Yeah, who're usually the ones who've been through all kinds of storms & obviously overcame the obstacles & were born as a whole new person. He mentioned how we live for ourselves, not for others. & when you live for others, you lose your personality. & then my daddy shared this extremely interesting experiment with me :

Put 10 people in the room. 1 of them is the test subject & 9 of them are controls [basically, they're in the know]. You hold up a red card & ask the test subject what colour it is [ask the test subject] first. The test subject will say it's red. Then you go down the line, asking the controls. They'll say it's blue. Then you ask again from the 10th to the 1st & they'll tell you it's blue. The test subject might still say it's red. But when asked a third time, the test subject'll most likely say "It's blue."

See what a simple test like this shows? It's human nature, something we can't change. Maybe we could, through sheer will & effort, it is possible, but how many could possess that determination? If you got me to be that test subject, I wouldn't dare say that I won't change my mind by the third test, because as much as I'm ashamed to say it, I'm someone who follows the crowd. & it really sucks, because it shows how cowardly I am inside.

Since young, Sapph has always been the one leading me. Perhaps it's because of our six year gap, but maybe it's purely because the true leadership quality lies in her, not me. I personally feel that I'm more of a follower, not a leader. & like what Sara said in Sisters' Keeper, she didn't walk with Zanne to the busstop. Since young, she was always given the chance to walk next to Zanne, but she never. Because she preferred walking behind her. & I guess this is how Sapph & I really are. She'll always be walking in front, with me following behind. Perhaps, for the rest of my life, I'll always be overshadowed by her (: I'll never be able to see my own shadow, see my limits. Because as far as I know, my limits are hers. & I'll never surpass her limits.

OKAY, WHAT A LONG POST THIS HAS BEEN. I'm going to stop here! Anw, I have to do all my miscellanous stuff, then start mugging! (: for the sake of my parents, I'm going to do it. But before I actually start doing, I think I need to plan my time a little bit more wisely to prevent any wastage of time. Lol (: alright! Stopping here before I start posting one whole chunk! :D

Nights everyone, I hope
you had a lovely day! (:

Takecare,
Yihui ♥♥

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