2009-04-28, 8:41 p.m.

Yes I am aware that I ought to be studying at this time but I just can't concentrate. My mind's with diaryland, -.-" so I decided I should post first [even if it takes me an hour] & then continue with studying (:

This very morning, a prayer was said for a girl named Chloe Chua, whose dad just passed away yday. I didn't really take it to heart since we always get stuff like people's parents dying or severely ill and whatnot. Until this afternoon when I met Shirlyn, & she told me that Chloe's sec one [13 years old] & the death was a sudden death. Which is why I guess the blow was twice as huge & traumatising.

She said Chloe was devastated. Very very grieved [of course] & I do offer her my deepest condolences & hope that she recovers from everything soon (: but I couldn't resist thinking what I'd do if this was me. Who would be by my side to give me a helping hand? Who would be here with through all the difficult times? Who would stay with me even when I get really snappy & irritable? & what would I do, if my daddy or mummy did just the same thing?

She mentioned that Chloe was depressed because her daddy promised her loads of things. Like going mountain-climbing in June or flying to NZ in June. & he just left her like that, without fulfilling any of those. Which is why, I guess I can understand how she's feeling. No, wait. I can never understand that kind of agony, unless I experience it myself [hopefully not in the near future.]

Ohwell, me being me, I started thinking about alot of things. ALOT. I started thinking about how sad I'll be if my parents died. It's funny how I used to think of that before I slept in the past, when I was 8 or so. & tears will just flow, without me realising, which is what tells me that my parents are significant to me. If I lose them, I have no idea how I'm going to get over it. But the thing is, just thinking of them leaving Sapph & I alone in this world alone is enough to make my tears fall. What would I do, if they really left me one day?

As much as I try not to think about it, it's something we all have to go through someday. When my parents die [I really hope it's not going to be soon ):], how would they want us to cope with their deaths? This is something I always ponder about too :/

In addition, when I was telling my mum about Chloe just now, she said "人生无常" which means at this point in time, we might be sitting together & drinking tea, but the next, noone knows what'll happen to me. & then I got so sad ): at hearing my mum say that. Ahhhhhhhhh it's so weirddd ): I love them so much, yet I can't stand them sometimes. & I treat them in a manner which they don't deserve but because we are their children, they say nothing about it but tolerate us. If we think that why don't they think about what we're facing in school, then isn't it time for us to spare a thought for them & think about what they are going through at work? Since parents being parents, they never ever tell their kids anything unless it's something good.

&& I just found out that Shirlyn's parents are divorced.. :/ I didn't even know. I was so shocked. Cus for a second, I actually thought that she was kidding me since she said it in a very nonchalent tone. But then her eyes seemed to tell me that she wasn't lying but I still had my doubts, so I asked Kerrui and she said "Huh ya." Wah omg, I was so shocked I could've just gasped there & then. Cus I mean, she definitely doesn't look like the type who comes from a broken family. Nevertheless, Shirlyn never fails to impress & surprise me with all her antics. I would never, never have imagined that such a joyful girl with a cheerful disposition like hers would have a family that isn't complete. Comparing Shirlyn & I, I now realise how fortunate I am (:

I have wonderful friends. Totally smashing. Who never fails to disappoint me whenever I need someone. To my friends, I thank whoever who bestowed them to me (:

I have. A complete family. A family which is of utmost importance to me. My family members who don't really do anything outrightly to show support, but I know they're always rooting for me & are eternally behind me in whatever I do (: & most importantly, my loving family makes my home feel like a proper & warm home. A home which is comfortable, awesome & irreplaceable (: because I have lovely lovely parents (: & a lovely sister, Sapph ^^

I've been waiting for a suitable day to count my blessings. Cus I usually stop at around 12 or 1 [by then my blessings'd have exceeded a hundred.] & I realised that I don't have to wait for a suitable day to count my blessings. I should count them every single day (: this'll make me know & appreciate what I have & what I am (:

Yay, end of post. Long post? Sorry =x

Have to do Math :/ SIGH.

To those who haven't had a good day, cheer up! (:

Seeya all around,
Yihui <3s.

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