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2009-08-17, 7:24 p.m.

I need to study. I'm supposed to. But I cannot bring myself to.

What the fuck is wrong with me today. I've been really distracted and restless. Can't do anything at all. My tingxie's quite ._. even though I spent HOURS on it. I am definitely not staying back ever again with my Sec 1s. It's freaking unproductive.

I'm really upset today. I don't know why. Maybe cus of Zoey's sms. Like ugh. I was like -.- when I read the msg. But for her sake, I decided to apologise. Anw, I'm really not sensitive enough to her feelings. I'm sensitive to everyone around me except for her. & maybe Cheok. Freak, I really want to kill myself right now.

Bloooooody hell. God, Lihmaan's like. Oh whatever. Seriously, I have no idea what's wrong with her. I msged her this afternoon and I haven't gotten a reply. Thanks, loads. Thanks for giving me hope and then bursting my bubble after that. It's really hard for me to trust you. & this is precisely the reason why. If you don't wanna be my friend, then say so. Don't say you will, & not act like one. It kills.

Especially now.

I'm going to sleep. Soon. If my maid isn't serving dinner. But I'm supposed to eat with my mum, so I have to wait for her to come back. Which will be at least 8. I need to wake up by 3 tmr. I have to mug SS, do my Homeostasis notes and all kinds of crap before I leave for Taiwan in two weeks' time. I'M FREAKING STRESSED OUT ):

Who the hell is willing to save me in my pool of crap ): I'm drowning, suffocating, but noone's lending me a helping hand.

I'm seeing Cheok tmr. I need to totally cool and chill myself. I can & I will.

I binge when I'm unhappy. & that's not good. I grow fat. & there'll be loads of glucose storage in my body. I'll get diabetes and I'll die early. Or I'll have to amputate one leg or something. AH WHATEVER.

God damn it. I hate my life.

For now. For today. I really hate it.

Just wanna sleep and not do anything.

But I need to eat.

OKAY I'M RETARDED. I'M STOPPING. BYE. I WILL STUDY. I NEED TO STUDY.

SHIT I HAVE A MEETING TMR.
AHHHHH FREAK.

Bah. When the world goes against you, nothing goes right.

Just felt like saying that.

Bye,
Yihui.

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