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2010-04-10, 10:48 p.m.

If only God had made me less stupid, I'd have loved him to the ends of the Earth.

Suju should have ended their concert by now if they started at 7 sharp. If like in Malaysia, they started at 8, then the lucky Philippinos would have 12 more minutes with them :) I hope everything went well tonight. Quite a few of them are still sick and injured ><

SIGH I remember saying this afternoon that since today's the last day of Super Show II (An important thing for Suju cus the fans are going to support them on their embarkment of fourth album), I wasn't going to post anything depressing. But I can't take it anymore. If I don't say it somewhere, I don't think I can sleep tonight.

MAAAAAAAAAAN. Rah. I really feel (one word to describe) stupid when I talk to her. It's like I ask the most obvious questions which has the most obvious answers to them which I don't see and phrase it as if I expect her not to get it. I freaking asked her if she opened the bottle and she said she did. Something which I should've expected cus she's not dumb, a face that we all know (Oops can't let her read this part!). & then she had to say she knew she had to open cus someone once gave her. Someone I think I can guess but I shan't say it out. Whatever then. & then! I felt so sorry cus I can't go for her comp on Monday. Which is the worst thing I could've ever said. Someone please tell me, how can someone as idiotic as me exist on this planet Earth.

Fuck.

& then in the afternoon. My wonderfully knowledgable mother came in and instructed me to do things for her. I was fucking filing my stuff and honestly she just came in, sat on my bed and said "Yihui 我交代你一些事情 hor." & she continued. Please, couldn't she see that I was fucking doing something else? I did contemplate of stopping her first but she rattled on and on, I just let her be. & when she finished, I was like "你可以再讲一次吗？" & she gave me that annoying irritated and frustrated face. So she repeated and I was so scared to get anything wrong, I asked her certain questions repeatedly to make sure I'd gotten everything right, all she kept asking me was "Are you sure you get it?" with that "Why the fuck are you so stupid" face. It's really saddening, not to mention frustrating, to see your own mother mock you that way. & then when she asked me about the envelopes, I think I'd have burst at her if Sapph wasn't there. She asked if I knew (had seen) that envelopes sent by the banks weren't stamped and I said I knew (seen) and she was like WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW?! (Inaccurate translation from mandarin) & she kinda stomped out of my room, wanting to go get one envelope for my reference. Until Sapph explained to her. Oh my god seriously. I'm so glad I'm alone at home now. Uh with my maid, but no family members. Whew. It's probably better for me.

After venting everything here and on my keyboard (ahhh sorry keys, :D) , I feel so sleepy ._. I love the peace at home. It's great. & finally, I don't hear my parents quarrelling. Did I mention? They started again like, two weeks ago. Over stupid things. Day and night, quarrel and quarrel and quarrel. Otherwise they're having a cold war. What a great example.

I think after tmr, I won't be coming on and using my comp often. Maybe only during the weekends but definitely not weekdays anymore. Entering T2W4, I need to buck up and start my revision or I can say bye to both my A1s for Maths. & lastly I just want to say to the world :

Fuck my life.

Yihui

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