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2011-11-06, 1:38 a.m.

It's been a really really messed up weekend. I learnt secrets today that had been kept for over twenty years. & now I don't know what to think of you.

There was this burst of outrage today in the afternoon where it got everyone crying hysterically. I felt my heart ache really badly when my mom shouted she'd leave if there wasn't room for her in this house. It ached even worse when she knelt to my dad and hit her head so hard against the marble flooring. I've never seen my mom lose control like that. I felt so scared. My mother was a strong woman; she never cried. But today she did.

My dad. I respected him so much. Though yes, I never entirely forgave him for what happened in the plane, I still respected him. But tonight, I'm thoroughly disgusted with him. I know it's human to err and I'm trying to emphasise to myself that he hasn't done it for the past twenty years but I'm still disgusted. Maybe it'll take awhile to digest.

Glad to have my sis around. Or I'd be going through this shit alone.

I'm tired. But now that it's raining and dark around the house, I'm thinking about maybes again. & losing faith in marriage all over again.

It's been a really sad day for me, hope it was better for everyone else.

Yihui

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