2011-12-02, 10:01 p.m.

Wow!! I've been gone for quite awhile indeed! & now I'm posting on the Mac for the first time! Hahahaha okay so loads to update let's see..

China trip was funfunfun! But only because of the people hahaha. The schedule was pretty much insane, we had to wake up at 5/6am every morning and go to bed at 12/1am every night. Yes it was insane like that, I didn't know I'd signed up for something like that. But anyway it was tiring but great, cliche as it sounds. Though yes, there were weirdos and irritants. Rachel really annoyed the hell out of me the entire week with her whining and ramblings. Then there were the weird guys. Ken was SERIOUSLY weird. No shit. He was weird, weird and just plain weird. What else. I made loads of good friends! At least I'm closer to them than the people in my class. & I only spent a week with them. Lolol actually less than that cus for the first few days, everyone was so shy. Wow man, says a hell load about my class. But yeah anyway. I've got post-OSLP rubbish to do also. So sian, half-wished I wasn't a leader :( but I also gained things that other members didn't, so I guess.. yeah haha.

Since I came back.. it's been five days! Been pigging a lot and sleeping tons. But it's time to start on work though. Probably start tomorrow. & yes, that's what I always say. Hahahaha. But really got to start, thinking about the mountain of work kills me. Really. But okay, I am really going to start soon. I don't know whether to be happy I promoted or not. But I know there're people who wish they got promoted but didn't so I shan't complain. But since I'm getting promoted, I have lots of work to do to catch up. Don't feel like depending so much on Sammy next year. Not that she helps me very willingly. Ohwell.

It's holidays but I'm feeling so stressed out. Maybe cus I know there's a pile of work waiting to be done. Maybe it's other stuff weighing on my mind. I"m not sure also. My friends.. My family.. My family's.. I don't know how to put it as well. It's weird.. It's like complete.. But broken. I finished watching Bad Love, a 2007 korean drama. It gave me quite a new understanding of love. Is wrong love still love? Yes, I think so. I mean, he didn't even love his wife to begin with. It couldn't even be considered a change of heart. It's just that reality couldn't allow them to be together. But fate really plays us. It's really scary. Fate is like something we can't see, can't hear, can't touch but something so major in our lives. Who we meet, who we stick with. Some are just lessons, some are stories. I don't know why fate played such a bad joke on my parents but if we were to go back in time, back when there was no Xuanfang, no Yihui, back when it was just the two of them, I wish my mom didn't marry my dad. Yeah sure, then there wouldn't be us. But there wouldn't be this whole conflict too. I saw the bite marks on my dad's arm. It's still there. Love? I'm not so sure. I'm only 17 but I feel like I know more than others at my age. It's probably thanks to all the dramas I watch but I'm sure some of it was in me the moment I was born. But no, put on a good show, and I will be deceived. Or I will convince myself to be.

Wahh emo post. Towards the end, at least. Hahahaha. Should start doing something constructive. Ohwell :/ I'm going to start.. I have no idea. Probably watch more videos. Really really hooked up on DBSK's old videos now. Actually only Purple Line and Mirotic hahaha.

Yihui <3

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