Tears of joy.. :)
After celebrating my birthday with my friends on Tuesday, I was thinking it's great to have them. & birthdays aren't birthdays without friends to celebrate with. But no, it's not. My mom just called me and said �我忘记跟你讲� and I was tearing already, thinking is she gonna say happy birthday. So I kinda didn't say anything and she was like 听到吗 and I "Mm-ed" her and she said "我刚才忘记跟你讲，生日快乐。" I started. Crying. So badly. Actually I'm still crying haha. But seriously.. I'm speechless. Her voice is still ringing in my head actually. And it felt like I could see her smile over the line. I was crying already so I couldn't say much over the phone. Tried to cover it up with a MMMM hehe thankew but sounded quite nasal already. I'm so useless. Who cries over such stuff. But I cannot take it man. Whenever my dad or my sis says happy birthday to me or something really sweet, I'm just like. Sobs. Cries. But my mom. That was my first time hearing her say happy birthday to me. And the fact that she called to say that to me. I just don't know how to express it. It's been 18 years and it's my first time hearing her say that. How weird. If the weak me didn't cry so easily, I'd have told her Mommy, thank you for bringing me into this world on this day. 18 marks some sort of transition phase, a pretty significant point in everyone's lives, a number which supposedly marks the day we mature. So on this day, thank you daddy and mommy for giving birth to me, for bringing me into this world. I love you two. I don't know how to express it cus I cry really easily especially when these stuff are mentioned so sometimes I just shrug it off when you try to be sweet to me cus I'm actually tearing already. But really, life may suck and all but I don't ever regret having you two as my parents. We can't choose our parents but even if I had a choice, I'd pick you two. Ask me a hundred times and my answer still won't change. Thankew dad & mom, and for giving birth to me on this day six years after jiejie, thankew. I wish I could tell this to you guys in your face but I'd be crying so badly I don't think you'd understand what I was saying haha.
This brings me to what Griffin was saying in MIB. Fate is a series of coincidences. Maybe if I didn't walk out to say bye to my mom just now even after she shut the door, she wouldn't call. & I wouldn't realise how much I love her cus just a couple of hours ago, I was still begrudging her over the fact that she forgot to hold some ceremony for me that she and my gran did for my sis and everyone else (all my other cousins). I was the only one left forgotten. But now it really doesn't matter anymore. I'll always remember how you said happy birthday to me just now, I will remember it for life. Mommy thankew, I love you <3
I don't have a perfect family. I don't have a flawless dad. He has his drawbacks and he has his past. But I choose to forgive him for that one thing he did wrong and remember the rest that he did right. & one day I hope my mom can think like me too. And let go of the past. But in any case, I have a dad and a mom who love me extremely much. Or so I choose to believe. & a great sis who cares truckloads for me. I know, it's just that I don't know how to express it without annoying you hahaha. Thankful, grateful, and am ever appreciative of the family I have. Funny how my mom's saying "happy birthday" to me can get me all teary and red-eyed. I've cried so much I'm feeling sleepy actually haha.
Shall wake up to study tmr morning. I will!
Thank you for giving me everything I have. I think my mom's shy like me too. Just saying. As in, it kinda just occurred to me lol. I don't know if she's glad to have a daughter like me.. cus I'm not as brilliant or patient as my sister but I'm very grateful I have a mom who tolerates me so much. On this day I turn 18, I'm also missing my nanny immensely. I don't know if you're still in this world, Auntie Beatrez, but wherever you are, I hope you know I still think of you and I will always always love you like how you loved me when I was still an infant, a toddler, a kid. I wish you could be here to see me turn 18 or when I get married in future but we can't have everything in life. I'll keep you in my heart. I wish I could have a chance to say thank you to you as well but you left me too soon. I miss you <3
Okay I am tired after crying haha.
Nights guys. & to my sn babes, thanks again. You guys are amazing :)