2012-07-22, 10:19 p.m.

I'm beyond addicted to BoA's new song!! You're the Only One for me! <3<3<3

So anyway today was pretty unproductive and I'm still on the comp AHHAHA wts prelims in 27 days sigh whatever. Anyway went for lunch with dad and we talked about all the heavy topics bugging my life. He was telling me his side of the story about the new door and whatnot. He said he got pissed cus mom said he did it on purpose. But he left out the portion about why mom said he did it on purpose. It was so hard for me to listen there without showing what I was thinking.. Had to think really hard how to react naturally. & he talked about how I shouldn't talk about my loved ones badly (referring to my gran on my mom's side). But you know, I really don't define loved ones as people related to me by blood. I have loved ones who aren't related to me in any way and they're not by my side anymore but I still think of them, think about them. My gran is nowhere in that list. There're too many reasons that led to this outcome. But I am not close to her and I don't think I ever will be. I've always thought, awful as it is, that even if she departs from this world one day I won't be very affected. Simply because I'm not attached to her. So if I'm not attached to her, how can I call her my loved one hypocritically. So while he was preaching about this, I just kept silent.

Life is so hard. I want to quit life. Sigh :(

Okay I shall get back to studying real soon.

hui <3

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