2013-07-19, 1:19 a.m.

I'm back here again. Haven't posted twice in two days in awhile. Or so I think the last time I posted was two days ago lol.

Anyway surfing Sapph's diary on a random thought and came across this. "Relationship is okay, although these days sometimes the thought of, such an aggressive character can i live with it forever? So far the answer has been yes, i hope it stays that way. Less the aggressiveness and sleepiness and the impossible task of waking him up unless i'm there physically, he's the best one for me."

I don't know if I read this last year but then again I was so occupied with studies and everything last year, I didn't even realise how one year passed like that. I can't believe she wrote this one year ago.. and one year later everything's changed. It's honestly scary how with the passing of time, everything and everyone on planet Earth will change.. relationships change, people change. And that's why memories are so precious isn't it. Cus that's the only thing that remains intact. Only wish I had a better memory. To keep count and track of the wonderful people who've left footprints in my life and made a difference for me.

It's another emotional night thanks to Chris lol. Listening to the tracks he told me to have a listen to and talking about the very someone I gave up on are not a good combination haha. The very reason why I'm taking psych.. I wish one day I could understand you better, Mom. I won't go out of my way to please you anymore because I know you don't really care but one day I hope I'll understand the reason why is it you never gave me a chance to reach your expectations. To my dearest mom, I know it's not that you don't love me but that the way you love me may be different from how I expect you to. I'm not angry or upset anymore, I'm just kind of numb. And I will no longer expect anything from you because you've proven me once and again that my expectations will only result in disappointment. I hope one day I will finally be able to take it in my stride and really accept it cus right now all I think I'm doing (or rather what I can do) is just to let it slide.

I should sleep soon I'll be spending the whole day out again. Schoooool is starting sadly :( sigh shall fix my sleeping pattern soon. I'm glad Chris is asleep alr. He needs more early nights and late mornings haha.

G'night world,

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